Thursday, January 4, 2018
Marriage Challenge #1
Marriages have different challenges. The challenge I found to be most difficult is becoming one.
Mark 10:7-8 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.
I've never read in the scriptures where a woman should leave her father and mother. If you know the verse, please tell me. I'm an only child. Not leaving and living 50 yards from my parents pleases me. That's the truth. Luckily, my husband likes it too or he's grown to like it! Some may say distancing myself may have made the "twain" easier? We will never know.
Now for the twain part, becoming one flesh. The Bible teaches me to submit to my husband. I'm good with that but what if it's simply hard to do. Some of the main things I noticed early on:
I've never read in the scriptures where a woman should leave her father and mother. If you know the verse, please tell me. I'm an only child. Not leaving and living 50 yards from my parents pleases me. That's the truth. Luckily, my husband likes it too or he's grown to like it! Some may say distancing myself may have made the "twain" easier? We will never know.
Now for the twain part, becoming one flesh. The Bible teaches me to submit to my husband. I'm good with that but what if it's simply hard to do. Some of the main things I noticed early on:
- His Christian thoughts aren't exactly mine. Differences in beliefs is confusing and frustrating.
- Family traditions and values don't all align.
- He feels like I give my family more time than his.
- My ideas are more important to me than his.
- I don't listen to him.
- I won't let him help me.
- He don't want to help me.
- He expects to eat my cooking every day.
- He thinks I should be able to manage the bills more effectively.
- He watches too much Georgia football.
- And, I'd rather not mention the three-letter-word that begins with s
Early on? Did I say early on? I still deal with a few of these. We are twain.....now. After 32 years. My experience and longevity begat patience. Unity does not happen overnight. Brothers and sisters born to the same parents with everything exactly the same rarely achieve unity quickly if at all.
I'm never too hard on myself or my spouse because we're both giving the union our best. Forgiveness then forgetting. We allow each other to make mistakes. More importantly, we give each other time to learn from our mistakes. We give each other room. We TALK to each other. My spouse still can't read my mind.
If things weren't working, we despised a plan together to try something new. Above all, we are forever committed to making our marriage work. If you're always giving 200% and getting 25%, you'll be exhausted. God purposed marriage as an equal partnership. You should never feel alone. Unity is not singular.
How have we made it 32 years? Improving one's self. Keeping each other accountable without blame. Working together. Serving God and each other. Being humble and kind while steadfast and strong. LOVE. God created marriage. His grace is what helped us through the last 32.
Honestly, sometimes I didn't think unity was gonna happen. Presently, some days I wonder where it went. Others days, we finish each other thoughts mid-sentence. When discouragement comes (although not often anymore), I look at the word "unified". It does have two i's and no we, but.....
"U" and "I" come first.
Working on Marriage 365,
Tammy
Tuesday, January 2, 2018
Be Healthy 365 Days In 2018
Sydnee contracted a respiratory infection in early fall 2017. Her two children got it. My Mom and dad got it. My son-in-law got it. I got it! My husband and youngest daughter were spared. The rest of us all went to the doctor for antibiotic shots and some got steroid shots. Milisende, my one-year-old granddaughter required three high-powered antibiotic shots for three consecutive days to lower her white blood count from this horrific germ. We were still not well after three to four weeks.
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Be Healthy 365 Days in 2018,
Tammy
Friday, December 8, 2017
I Love the Feeling
Of all things, I was mopping my kitchen floor. I HATE to mop. I sweat like a hog wallowing in the sunshine! I need to shower after I mop. I take several rest periods during one kitchen mop session! I use one of those Spin 360 mops or I'd never get finished. Now, I LOVE the clean! I could sit for hours admiring the shiny white tile a good mopping leaves behind. The clean smell is an aroma pleasing to my nose. I always hope I have company so they can see the rewards of my labor.
I love the feeling but I loathe the fuss. Do you know what I mean? I have to prod myself for days to mop. I spot clean. I ignore the dirt. I tell myself the floor won't stay clean but nothing satisfies me but to mop that dirty floor. The floor is dirty again within a few days but the clean feeling lingers. Clean feels so good!
You know where I'm taking this. God showed me something during my latest mop session. Psalm 51:10 says Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. I get dirty just like floors, repeatedly. I allow sin to creep into my life. I feel dirty, removed from the good clean feeling when there's nothing between me and my Savior. I know I need a good cleaning (repentance), but I loathe the fuss that gets me the feeling. I'll have to admit I'm wrong. I'll have to break down some pride. For heaven's sake, I'll have to get on my knees and Lord, you know, they hurt. I'll have to be sincere, really? I'll have to be sorry for my faults. I'll have to ask for forgiveness. I may have to apologize to somebody. What?
After I've done all that fussing with a few rest periods in the middle because you know I'm human and all that sounds like superhuman stuff, here comes the feeling. Do you know the feeling? My clean heart begins to sing Indescribable,
uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
My right spirit is renewed. There's not another feeling like it in the whole wide world! In my entire life, I have never found anything comparable to Jesus. Have you?
No. I don't mop more often than usual, nor do any of the other chores I hate. I do view my spiritual housecleaning differently. God will surely allow me to ignore the dirt and spot clean to try to make myself feel better. Won't work. Instead of thinking "I love the feeling but I loathe the fuss", my new motto is:
Jesus loves me but loathes my mess,
Oh how I love the feeling when I confess!
Feeling clean 365,
Tammy
Sunday, October 8, 2017
Wool is Itchy
Sheep teach us about ourselves. Jesus uses the illustration of sheep and shepherd many times in the Bible. John 10:11 says "I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep." What more could you want than a keeper who assures your safety while you graze all day in green pastures? Being a part of the sheepfold is a beautiful thing if we just didn't act like the sheep we are. Even under the shepherd's loving Lordship, we still need much tending. Romans 8:23 states that we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting for the adoption, to wit, the redemption of the body or if you will, the shedding of our itchy wool.
Things we have in common with sheep:
- Slow to learn. God provides 66 books with 1,189 chapters of what to do and what not to do. How much of it do we know?
- Demanding. Sheep demand grass, grass and more grass. They have an insatiable appetite.Sound familiar?
- Stubborn. This one needs no explanation.
- Lost and Straying. We just can't seem to stay on-course needing rescued time after time.
- Dependent. Sheep can't survive and live without their shepherd.
Yes. Sheep stick their head through a fence and WILL NOT pull it out. The shepherd has to get them unstuck.
Are you stuck?
Let JESUS get YOUR HEAD out of the FENCE!
Itching to Death,
Tammy
The Happy Handicap
Sunday, August 27, 2017
Who Do You Look Like?
Rewind to a couple of years ago. Sloane posted a picture on facebook. I received a call from her asking "Why did you tag yourself in my picture?". I had already seen the post. I laughed and replied "I didn't!". Facebook recognized her as me automatically tagging me in the picture. You can't disagree or argue with facial recognition software. Sloane believes people now when they say she looks just like her mom.
Sloane is a spitting image of me. I've heard this phrase my entire life. I looked up the meaning. Spitting image is the thought that you are the exact likeness of someone so much they could have you spit you out of their mouth.
Dr. Peter Kendrick, Professor of Theology and Culture at the Marietta campus of New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary delivered the message Sunday at my church. He recounted people telling him he is the spitting image of his dad. Dr. Kendrick is adopted. He's a native of Korea and his dad is American. I have to admit when I saw him I was puzzled by his surname. I haven't seen his dad. They may look alike?
What Dr. Kendrick said next inspired me! "What if people looked at you and said you are the spitting image of your Father God?" WOW! That's a great thought to ponder. Being recognized as the spitting image of Jesus is our ultimate goal as a born-again believer. Romans 12:1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.
We are made in his image. Genesis 1:26 tells us And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. But, do we ooze love and forgiveness and all the other things that make Jesus who he is? People come pre-wired with recognition software. Who do you look like? Can they see Jesus in you?
Striving for His Likeness,
Tammy
The Happy Handicap
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